First dates · Conversation

What to talk about on a first date

The best first-date conversations aren't clever, they're curious. Ask about things people enjoy rather than their job, follow up on one detail, and share something back so it doesn't feel like an interview. Use the generator below if your mind goes blank.

Plaça de la Virreina in Gràcia, with the church of Sant Joan and trees — Photo: Alain Rouiller · CC BY-SA 2.0 · Wikimedia Commons

Free tool

First date question generator

1What did you do last weekend?
2What's something you've been into lately?
3What's the best thing that happened to you this week?

Tip: ask one, then really listen. The follow-up question matters more than the first.

Three habits that keep a conversation going

Ask “why?” once more. The second answer is where the real person is.
Follow up on one detail they mentioned earlier. It shows you were listening.
After their answer, share something of yours. A date is an exchange, not an interview.
A silence isn't a failure. Smile, take a sip, and ask what they're looking forward to this week.

Topics to keep for later

Exes, in any detail.
How much people earn.
Anything that sounds like a checklist of what you want in a partner.

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Questions

What should you not talk about on a first date?

Keep detailed ex stories, money and heavy politics for later. If they come up, one honest sentence is enough before bringing the conversation back to the two of you.

How do I practise a first-date conversation?

Luna, the dating coach in 2niteMeet, plays your date and gives you a tip on every message, so you can practise the first ten minutes before the real thing.