Is being hot and cold a red flag?
Short answer
Yellow flag
Hot and cold often means mixed feelings, stress, or keeping options open. It becomes a bigger issue when it keeps you anxious and guessing. Say what you've noticed calmly; someone who's really interested will make an effort to be more consistent.
It depends on
- Whether it's a pattern or a busy week
- Whether they explain when you ask
- How it makes you feel
What you could say
- I've noticed things go warm and then quiet. What's going on?
- I like consistency. Are we on the same page?
- When you go quiet, I don't know where I stand.
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Questions
Is being hot and cold a red flag?
Yellow flag. Hot and cold often means mixed feelings, stress, or keeping options open. It becomes a bigger issue when it keeps you anxious and guessing. Say what you've noticed calmly; someone who's really interested will make an effort to be more consistent.
Why do people act hot and cold?
Mixed feelings, fear of commitment, stress or keeping options open are the most common reasons.
Should I wait for them to decide?
You can ask once, clearly. If nothing changes, it's ok to walk away.
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