Should I message my match first?
Short answer
Yes, the same day
Yes: matches go cold quickly, and waiting for them to go first often means nobody does. Send a first message within a day that mentions something from their profile. “Hey” gets far fewer replies than a real question.
Why this happens
On dating apps, matches cool quickly and many chats never start. The first message is often the only thing standing between a match and a date.
It depends on
- Whether something in their profile stands out
- How long ago you matched
- Whether the app lets both people write first
What you could send
- Ok, I need to know the story behind that [photo] 😄
- [Place in their photo] is one of my favourites! What did you think?
- Best [thing they like] in town: go.
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Similar questions
More like this · Starting a conversation
After a date
When they've gone quiet
- I sent the last text: should I text again?
- Left on read: should I text again?
- No reply for a day: should I text?
- No reply for 2 days: should I text again?
- A week of silence: should I text?
- They haven't texted in two weeks: should I text?
- A month of not talking: should I text?
- I've been ghosted: should I text them?
- They're ignoring me: should I text?
Where you stand
Questions
Should I message my match first?
Yes, the same day. Yes: matches go cold quickly, and waiting for them to go first often means nobody does. Send a first message within a day that mentions something from their profile. “Hey” gets far fewer replies than a real question.
What's a good first message on a dating app?
A question about something specific in their profile. It shows you read it and is easy to answer.
How soon should I suggest meeting?
After a few good messages, within about a week. Long chats without meeting often fizzle out.
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